Our Thoughts On A Controversial Matter

February 7th, 2005 · 5 Comments
by Booksquare

Never let it be said that we don’t enthusiastically embrace new ideas. Oh sure, we make fun of them sometimes, but we understand that greatness comes from wacky ideas. How else does one explain the Pet Rock? And we do love to help, and so when it comes to making HarperCollins the brand readers request, we have some thoughts:

  • Make HarperCollins bigger than the book title.
  • Use a lurid font in hot pink. Except on hot pink covers — acid green should work there.
  • Replace the author’s name with “brought to you by HarperCollins”
  • The biggest thing on the spine should be HarperCollins; title and author information should be written in invisible ink
  • Develop a brand identity — every book should look the same
  • Start a television channel featuring only HarperCollins books
  • Cancel author book tours. Send editors and marketing staff on the road. Bonus: they probably won’t need wranglers.
  • Lock up Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White to exclusive deals
  • No more author appearances on Oprah
  • Consolidate all rights acquisitions…no pesky paperback rights to other houses
  • HarperCollins tattoos!
  • Wine is big…probably there’s a tie-in here

Though it should go without saying, we remain by our phone, awaiting our invitation to join the corporate brainstorming session in the Poconos.

File Under: Publishers and Editors

5 responses so far ↓

  • David Thayer // Feb 7, 2005 at 10:29 pm

    We’re on the same wavelength about the NYT article. David

  • Susan Gable // Feb 8, 2005 at 1:40 pm

    Sounds like they’re going along with the Harlequin/Sil theory – it’s the line/imprint/brand that matters, not the individual authors. (sigh)

    The funny thing is, some of the H/S covers are now minimizing the “line-look” and trying to look more like single titles.

    Guess that means everyone wants what they don’t have, or something like that.

    I was not reassured by the one sentence in the article where the publisher said authors were important. Call me cynical.

    Books should NOT be marketed like soup, with a distinctive red-and-white label to tell you which company produced it. But what do I know?

  • booksquare // Feb 8, 2005 at 11:02 pm

    SusanG, you win the secret door prize! I so wanted to say that books are not soap, but didn’t want to give away the punchline. Branding is cool, if you’re branding logically. Extra points for cyncism…remember when we were young and innocent?

    David — we can form Thayer & Booksquare: We Know What You Don’t. I can’t wait to meet Edward Wyatt at an industry party (surely we’ll be invited someday). So much to talk about…

  • David Thayer // Feb 8, 2005 at 11:27 pm

    Great idea. I can only imagine Edward Wyatt, a mild mannered business reporter, wondering how he became ensnared in the madness of publishing.

  • booksquare // Feb 8, 2005 at 11:38 pm

    Hi, Edward, good to meet you…you know, we’ve been meaning to talk to you…did you really mean it when you…

    Poor man, I wonder if he even knows that he’s a household name around here?