Arts and Crafts For Writers

January 12th, 2006 · No Comments
by Booksquare

We are not going to name names, but we know some publishers, music labels, and studios who engage in a little game. The rules are simple:

  1. Locate a review of your latest masterpiece.
  2. Run around the house/office, trying to find your sharpest scissors.
  3. Sit down in a comfortable chair and read the review. Do not read for context as it is an unnecessary use of brain cells.
  4. Carefully — this is why the scissors must be sharp — cut out words and phrases that reflect you and/or your work in glowing terms.
  5. Put said words and phrases into something that is almost-but-not-quite a sentence.
  6. Place the almost-but-not-quite sentence on the product covers, posters, letters to your mother, and funny articles for your alumni newsletter.
  7. Wait for lawsuit from cranky reviewer (especially if you deserve it as payback for previous bad behavior)
  8. Repeat.

And yes, we feel Alex Beam’s pain.

File Under: Square Pegs