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I’ve never understood the human need to achieve new heights of ridiculousness. This is why I won’t be remembered like Norris McWhirter. Not only did McWhirter appreciate the folly of our humanity, but he published it successive editions. In each of us is a special person…alas, modern society makes it harder and harder to claim the title of Longest Fingernails Ever Grown.

• Guinness Book co-founder McWhirter dies