Booksigning Nightmares Revisited

December 7th, 2004 · 3 Comments
by Jill Monroe

I was going to call this blog “Insert Your Own Subject” to describe my first booksigning. I had quite a few ideas:

Glad I didn’t waste the 18 bucks (see previous blog about manicure)
No Reason For Shoe Buffs (again, see previous blog about mother’s nightmare)
Upside to Booksigning: No Bathroom Directions Given

But when it comes right down to it, Booksigning Nightmares Revisited is the true title.

This past Saturday was my first ever booksigning. For years I have attended the booksignings of my fellow romance writers, so I had a pretty good idea of how things worked. Table out front. A display of books and a small sign saying “Booksigning.”

As mentioned, the night before my booksinging, I chaperoned a group of 13 first and second graders at a lock-in. After finally using the “mean voice” we managed to get the girls to sleep sometime after 1am. Of course now being cursed with mom ears (remember the days when you could sleep in class?) I was instantly awake at every sneeze, cough and snore. And they may by 7, but little girl snores are every bit as jarring as grown husband snores.

I call my husband at 10am to let him know the last girl has been picked up and I’m on my way.

“Maybe you should take a nap when you get home.”

Okay, this is totally bizarre fore me as the dh knows the booksigning is only a few hours away. Although he doesn’t understand, he has become somewhat acquainted during the 11 years we’ve been married of my need to luffa, gel, tweeze, scrunch and shellac the various parts of my body before any major event.

This is followed by the agonized staring at the clothes in my closet. I’d like to say at this point that I do not, under any circumstances put my husband through that clichéd torture of asking which outfits make me look fat. I’d like to say that…but I can’t.

The shoes were a given (see previous blog about my non-dressy, needing to be buffed shoes). Back to my original point – my husband is well aware of my need to obsess and compulse – why the nap suggestion?

“Honey, don’t you rememb–”

“Your booksigning has been canceled. Gena called this morning – something’s happened.”

Okay, the only reason I can think of for my first every booksigning to be canceled is the bookstore has burned down to the ground. I immediately call Gena Showalter who was going to sign with me, but really to make sure I wouldn’t totally freak out.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I’m not supposed to tell you.”

She and I both know this is a formality. We’ve been friends long enough to know how this works.

“The extra shipment of your books didn’t come in, and the bookstore only has 2 now. They wanted to make sure your first booksigning was special, and didn’t want you to come in just for that.”

This is why I LOVE my local bookstore. I think they were just as excited to host my first booksigning as I was to be having one

Here’s my dilemma. My mother has called every relative we have within a 600 mile radius of Oklahoma City. I have e-mailed every person I have known since birth. What would happen if I didn’t show?

“I think I should call the bookstore.”

Gena, being one of the nicest people in the world and hates to give bad news is probably thrilled to get off the phone from someone who’s not hysterical but could snap at any moment. “Okay, but remember you’re not supposed to know.”

File Under: Jill's First Blog

3 responses so far ↓

  • Susan Gable // Dec 7, 2004 at 5:25 pm

    Oh, major bummer, Jill! Now where’s the rest of the story? You can’t leave us hanging like that; it’s just not right!

  • booksquare // Dec 7, 2004 at 8:05 pm

    No seriously, even though I know the rest of the story (speed dial, me, and Jill…all the best of friends!), I want to read how it turns out! C’mon Jill, don’t leave us in suspense! Did the sparkly gel pen somehow save the day?

  • daniel olivas // Dec 7, 2004 at 11:43 pm

    …and? you can’t do this. other shoe, please.