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The plan, as I recall it, was to sit down and write a few romance novels. I would then take the money and open a store that sold greeting cards and balloons. Quite possibly, I would continue the writing because it would be easy and the money would be excellent. It’s okay — you can stop laughing now…that shade of red can’t be healthy. I was alarmingly young and naive at the time. Here’s the good news: I didn’t pay a small fortune to discover the awful truth. The bad news, of course, is that the castle described in the article seems absolutely ideal (having stayed in a converted Scottish mansion, I feel confident in my assessment). While I’m thinking Mills & Boon may be slightly more modern than the author suggests, I simply can’t disagree with any advice that includes drinking wine.

• Just lie back and think of Tom Selleck…