Square Pegs

We must say, with all the controversy and discussion surrounding the National Book Awards, we expected something along the way of fireworks. A denunciation of the process. A Native American accepting the award on behalf of someone. Random violence because someone said something someone else found offensive, though nobody could explain why. We may have to stop watching television for a little while. Lily Tuck won the fiction award, beating out a host of competitors whose lack of commercial success generated more column inches than analysis of their work. The 9/11 Commission did not win the non-fiction. Other authors won […]

We are very excited to have introduced two new phrases to the modern lexicon (if we are not clever and unique, do not tell us): Consultant Stockholm Syndrome and Homonym Dyslexia. We like to think both are self-explanatory. But we must say we never dwelled on ghostwriters and hwo they identify with captors. In a way, it sounds almost too exciting. But then we realize it’s one thing to inhabit a fake person’s life — it’s entirely different to do so with a live person. Not to mention the fact that fantasy people rarely demand you edit entire portions of

“This is very important and credible research. We should not be afraid to destroy the myths, ” Francesco Pirella of Genoa’s Museum of Print told Discovery News. No, no, we should be afraid to destroy myths. Please allow us to cling to our belief that Gutenberg was, well, Gutenberg’s real last name (please, our heart can’t take any more shocks today) and he invented moveable type. Because it opens up so many questions, like, oh, if he didn’t, who did? It’s not like we know of a long line of pretenders to the throne. Did the printing process suddenly appear

Since it’s about halfway through the month (or, rather, just beyond halfway, but close enough for government work), we thought we’d check in with our progress. Despite some days of loafing and some days of high-level production, we remain in the 25,000 word range. We’re not sure if this speaks more to dedication or luck. We find we’re afraid to look too closely. According to the helpful literature we’ve received, Week Three should be a breath of fresh air. We met Week Two head on and wrestled it into submission (though there remains some resistance in Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

We don’t know where to begin. No really, we’re quite finger-tied at the moment. Who let Barbara Cartland appear in public with blue eyeshadow? Did the woman not have people to help her? That’s cruel and unusual punishment. Being dead is surely not enough insulation for this punishment. Cartland, the famously prolific (and dead) author, apparently left behind a wealth of unpublished works. But never fear, someone has seen to that this state of affairs will not remain. Every word that ever spewed from the woman’s brain will be available for public consumption. And this, we believe is wrong. Very

And, yes, we’re linking to this article simply so we can use this stupid headline. We’re contemplating doing a Google search to see how many other clever souls have done the same thing…no, we’re over the idea. Amazing how fleeting these plans for doing research can be. Terry Southern, in addition to all of his other accomplishments, invented the current spate of reality programming (in which wealthy people make fun of desperate people). Not familiar with Southern (despite our lame headline?). Don’t worry you’re not alone. His heyday happened when many of us were mere glimmers or sporting diapers instead

What with one thing and the other, we weren’t able to properly digest the fact that William Safire is leaving the New York Times. Unlike most, our first thought was what about “On Language”? It won’t surprise most of our readers to know we often disagree with Safire politically — and sometimes we disagreed with him linguistically. That two people (or more) could diverge so dramatically is the beauty of the English language (it is also the bane of the English language). However, while his op-ed column is retiring, there is hope in other sections: Safire, 74, said yesterday he

How often is it that one website, on one day, manages to get us all worked up in three different ways? We like to think this is a relatively rare occurence — we’re really fine with self-delusion. It protects us from the stresses of modern life. So today, at Wired, we have a) an article catching us up with Jeff Tweedy (seems to be doing much better); b) a discussion of copyright issues, specifically those about giving work away for free while attaining commercial success of sorts; and, c) a piece about the mysterious “numbers stations” on shortwave radio. For

Arguably, the great romantic story of our youth was that of Luke and Laura. Do not pretend you don’t know what we mean. Though things began inauspiciously, we found ourselves rooting for these star-crossed…well, their triumph was ours. But Luke and Laura as an old married couple? Dull. It was the conflict, the battles, the rising above ordinary humanity. Hmm, something tells us we may be projecting false memories on this posting. For writers, conflict is our Holy Grail. Writing a book where everyone gets along is sort of like watching paint dry. Then someone had the courage to challenge

We inadvertently took this weekend off. All manner of things had piled up over the past few months, and we tackled some long overdue projects. Yes, finally, we got a haircut. Also, we made a huge mess in the kitchen right after the husband scrubbed the whole room to a suspicious gleam. Life was good. Now it’s Monday, and we’re recalling why this particular day is greeted with such dread: the human mind, while amazingly resilient, adopts to “I’ll never have to work again” in just one day. Undoing the damage takes approximately five. We’re entering Week Three of the