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First, we have to admit something: we’ve never (knowingly) heard a Britney Spears song. Such is the glory of a sheltered life. Oh sure, we’ve heard the Fountains of Wayne cover of something called “Baby One More Time” (probably that’s not the title, but we can’t be bothered to do fact-checking). And, frankly, the ins and outs of Britney’s life don’t register much.

All of that being said, we know more about this chick’s existence than we should have to. Her every move is documented like there’s an expectation that she’s gonna say something profound, and the press had better be there or they’ll miss the story of a lifetime. Thus far, our conclusion is that Britney is probably not the brightest bulb on the tree, and she’s not shy about taking advantage of all the free publicity she can get. Maybe that’s why most people consider her existence to be in the public domain.

We don’t normally offer advice, but we feel compelled: if you don’t want photos circulating, then perhaps you shouldn’t voluntarily pose.

• Spears condemns use of honeymoon photos