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We are going to say it loud: we hate 85% of romance novel covers. While we’re at it (and we hope this doesn’t come off as politically incorrect), female breasts do nothing for us. We’re woman enough to admit we can admire a good pair, but they don’t make us stupid. If you require a bra, you know what we mean when we say they’re more trouble than not.

If you’re seeing a romance novel cover with a, ahem, heaving bosom, we can assure you the target audience is not female. If you see a hot guy, well, why in hell do men buy Playboy? Sure, the articles are great, but a little eye candy doesn’t hurt.
We’ve never actually been tempted to read a book by Cassie Edwards, but that’s beside the point. This quote summed up our issues perfectly (and if you don’t think Elvis Costello is hot, you’re not listening closely. We’d advise starting with My Aim Is True and continuing until, oh, we like King of America, but others may differ):

As for the critic’s panel, the s.o. said, “The cover looks really and deeply gay. I would not read it.” The girlfriend weighed in with her verdict, “I like my men nerdy looking and skinny most of the time, you know, like Elvis Costello, but John DeSavlvo is really cute. I wouldn’t throw him out of bed for eating crackers, you know. But at the same time, I’d take a pass on reading this book.”

Yeah, the article is fun. Even if we wouldn’t read most of the books reviewed in public. Heck, we’re shy.

P.S. – Mine To Take is a “latest”? Did we miss something?
P.P.S. – Missionary? Please? Someone needs to read more romance. Not that it doesn’t make a for a nice diversion, but there’s a reason romance readers have better sex than other fiction readers.
P.P.P.S. – For those who think we’ve gone soft, yeah, we got the condescension. We do not throw stones, especially when they’re masquerading as boomerangs.

• Judging a Book By Its Cover: Valentine’s Day Edition